


JERK

by Psychosinner



Category: JYJ (Band), K-pop, iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, K-pop References, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-07 11:50:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18620059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychosinner/pseuds/Psychosinner
Summary: There's no sign of Hanbin anywhere and Bobby's starting to get more and more concerned. Binnie isn't the type to hold grudges but still the stupid fight they had the previous night keeps grating on Bobby's mind. A fight that had nothing to do with Bin but Bobby's own insecurities that he struggles with deep down. Then June calls him and tells him something strange about a fellow idol at a party June was at. It's something Bobby's brain refuses to accept but that June swears he saw happen. Still reeling with disbelief Bobby ends up looking for Hanbin at a bar they both loved where he runs into Jaejoong who seems to be having some kind of breakdown. Bobby decides the situation with Jaejoong hyung is more pressing and so he stays.**Please heed the trigger warnings. It's a dark story and it is what it is, so don't like don't read its as simple as that.***** Also let me clarify I'm a fan of both Ikon and JYJ so don't take the villain's character to heart, think of them as just actors playing the part.****Thanks for reading XD*





	1. GREED & REGRET

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby looks for Hanbin and instead gets burdened by a heavy secret from June and runs into Jaejoong hyung who's having a hard time accepting some things.

**_Your heart was tender_ **

**_I was immature and I plucked you, a beautiful flower_ **

**_I was greedy and you wilted in the end_ **

**_You waited and waited for my honesty_ **

**_I said I was giving you my honesty_ **

**_But I didn’t know what honesty was back then_ **

**_I regret it but let me say this, even that_ **

**_was LOVE._ **

-

-

-

-  
-

 **B** obby's mind was a mess. 

There was no real danger. Hanbin wasn't a child for fuck sake so why was he finding it so hard to give up the search? 

Because of _the fight._

He hated to admit it but the passion inside them was like a fire. They loved like they sang and made music like they made out. Hot. Thirsty. And _so good it should have been illegal._

Hanbin was the leader in the day but Bobby was the dominant one in their relationship. It was almost surprising how readily Binnie lost control with him. 

The way Bobby always pushed him to new things. New words. New poetry. New worlds. And the way Bin succumbed to Bobby's charms. Sure they were both greedy but Bin was more subdued and a little shy so Bobby always had to draw out the real person inside Binnie.

But when he finally opened up to Bobby there was no other feeling like it. 

_So why did you have that petty fight?_

_Why did you not try to comfort him all night and most of today?_

_He wanted to,_ was the only thing Bobby could say in his own defense. 

He wanted to so bad _but…_

The way he had acted wasn't the first time and it definitely wouldn't be the last. 

Every time Bin paid too much attention to other people Bobby found himself feeling insanely vulnerable. And vulnerability led to insecurity, and insecurity led to pointless feelings like jealousy. 

Within seconds, a simple acquaintance would become a rival, an opponent, someone Bobby would end up resenting for no logical reason. 

And that's what had happened the previous night when June had spent hours practising with Binnie. June didn't even like men! So why did it feel like he was a threat all of a sudden? 

Maybe because what happened with the relationships in the past could happen again. This time it would be so much worse because Bin really was his soulmate. 

Sometimes, the scars of the past go so deep they take control of you. 

It was also what had kept Bobby from going further. They'd never actually had sex. This one time they got super frustrated and super excited so ended up giving each other a hand job in the pool while the others weren't around. 

They'd both ended up laughing their asses off after and vowed never to do it again, not that way. Bobby would have done it, but he knew Bin needed to be romanced. He wouldn't want it to be in a sleazy place or in a sleazy way. 

Bobby loved a bit of sleaze but he knew him and Binnie weren't there yet. 

He was just walking out of a patisserie without making a purchase, hoping Bin had come there after feeling shitty all day treated himself with their macaroons. No sign of him there either, and Bobby went so far as to actually ask the person on the counter if Bin had come by and even though he got the weirdest stares from the mostly french staff, Bobby held it in. 

That's when he got the call.

 

\- 

-

 **He** saw June’s name and winced. 

The previous night's outburst might have put Bobby in a resentful phase momentarily about June but he sincerely felt none of it once the anger died down and that must have taken all of fifty seconds. 

It's true. 

Within fifty seconds Bobby was back to feeling the same brotherly love he always felt for his members. And of course he was also back to feeling guilty. 

Fully hoping Hanbin was with June, Bobby answered. 

“Hyung, where are you?” June asked. 

“Who wants to know?” 

“What do you mean? It's me hyung, June, who else would it be?”

Bobby felt disappointed but kept his voice calm. “I thought maybe Binnie was with you.” 

“I haven't seen him all day, I figured he was with you. Anyway, he never stays out too late without telling someone so I'm sure he'll show up. Why don't you go wait for him at the dorm?” 

“Yes, I was about to do that,” Bobby explained. “There's just one more place I have to look. if he's not there I'm going back.”

“Okay, well I'm going to be at a friends house they're having a party, nothing too drastic, it's just a birthday surprise.” 

“Okay,” Bobby said still feeling the same worry he felt when he first realized he couldn't get a hold of Bin.” 

“There's a reason I called,” June said. “I saw something and I don't know what to do about it but I need to talk to someone.”

“Sure what is it?”

“I was invited to a fashion event last night,” June began. “And a lot of other people were there too but you know I'm not particularly close to anyone, so I was just hanging around Junsu hyung. He was with this super model and he introduced me to her which great okay I'm not complaining but then he just disappeared. And so I went outside to check on him but he was with someone. Some girl she was crying I couldn't see her face. I didn't want to butt in so I went back inside.

‘But when I went back a couple of idol buddies came and said hi and asked me right out if I knew who the girl with Junsu hyung was but I told them if it's some new gossip I don't want to hear it. And ok the girls they both swore they caught hyung fighting with another girl a few days ago and she was crying and yelling she's going to sue him. And her friends told us later hyung assaulted the girl. They didn't know how bad or how serious but they swore ok! I don't they would lie about something like that after all she was their friend. They just felt bad for her and they were trying to warn me I guess. What do you think, hyung?” 

Bobby couldn't believe what he was hearing. “Whatever you saw, why don't you just ask Hyung directly instead of believing rumors? But if there's some truth to it, then we'll decide what to do but for now don't spread this anywhere. We can talk about it more when we meet.”

“Okay but,” Bobby felt June hesitate and June pretty much never hesitated. “Isn't he dating Jaejoong hyung?” 

“I know that.” 

“I know what I saw. Assault or not, hyung definitely had something going on with this girl. She was in the bathroom with him, the male bathroom!” 

“We'll talk about it later, " Bobby realized he was being dismissive but between worrying about Bin and now Jaejoong hyung his brain was barely working at full capacity. "For now, just please don't say anything to anyone.”

“Fine.” June said and said goodbye before hanging up. 

 

-

 

 **Eventually** the only place left to look was the bar a lot of idols frequented but one that offered total privacy because the owner was a parent of a big name idol and treated the idols who came to his bar as his own family. The ambiance was great and the booze quality was excellent. 

"You're a jerk, Su!" Bobby had barely made it to his favorite table when he heard someone cursing at their phone. 

The voice sounded familiar so Bobby stopped at their table to check on them hoping he wasn't interrupting. 

When he recognized the man Bobby was surprised to see the anger and hurt on the beautiful idol's face. "Hyung?" 

Jaejoong blinked off tears rather visibly and tried to smile. "Hey." 

"Hyung, are you OK?" Bobby couldn't help feeling worried for the man who looked like he was already quite drunk. 

"I'll live," the older man said, gesturing to the chair next to him. "Please, sit. Have a drink with me." 

Bobby didn't want to be disrespectful by saying no even though he was still worried about Hanbin, so Bobby sat down next to his hyung so he could at least keep an eye on him. 

"Want to talk about it?" Bobby finally asked. 

"Not really," Jaejoong said, downing more alcohol. And then without prompting started blurting the next words in front of the younger who sat there confused and clueless about what to do and how to handle it. "He said he loves me, so I figured wth! There are a million people dying to be with me but I fucking chose him! For fuck sake I could have taken a sugar daddy and got more action from cialis than I get from him these days." 

Bobby adored the innocent way his hyung said something so trashy. Only Jaejoong hyung could be this classy while he did something sleazy. Bobby was still silently nursing the whiskey Jaejoong had poured for him. He wanted to get drunk it would have helped so much but he didn't know what this situation with his hyung would end up in and he had a vague idea it would be better if he was sober for it. 

And also the slight fact that he was hoping Binnie would be back by the time he got home and apologizing wasn't something you do piss drunk. 

He noticed there was no food on the table and just called the waiter and ordered a soda for himself and some snack food. 

When the waiter left, Jaejoong launched into another one of his diatribes about Junsu hyung and June’s conversation about the girls around Junsu hyung came rushing back. Especially the part where a girl had alleged he assaulted her. But Jaejoong hyung was already so messed up anything Bobby might have added would have just worsened his suffering. "He never listens! I know I can be an asshole too sometimes but so is everyone else on the planet so why do I have to feel guilty? So if I feel jealous of all the fresh tail he can't stop perving over, is it really that hard to understand?" This time Jaejoong was looking right at him and Bobby felt being called out on his own frustrating envy of all the people who got close to Binnie. Where the hell was this guy? If this was his way of punishing Bobby it was the absolute worst way to get back at him. The absolute worst. 

"Tell me?" Jaejoong was asking him. "Don't you ever get jealous?" 

Suddenly, Bobby felt like fleeing. 

Actually, he felt an anxiety deep down, something that gnawed at him but he couldn't put his finger on it. That wouldn't let his heart be at peace. He was filled with even more worry. 

He stood. "Hyung, I have to go back--" 

But Jaejoong grabbed his sleeve. "I said sit down. Have a few drinks with me so I don't feel like such a fucking loser." 

God. 

He felt bad for his hyung too and looking at how broken and messed up he was it would have been cruel to let him be alone in his misery. 

Jaejoong's tone was prickly but the sentiment underneath was genuinely heartfelt and Bobby knew that. 

So, despite his anxiety he sat down and he figured he could at least make sure hyung ate something so he didn't get sick later. 

"I'll sit if you stop drinking," Bobby tried to be firm. 

"I'll stop after I have two more I promise." 

Bobby checked the time on his watch. It was past midnight. 

Still no calls from Binnie not even a text. 

_Where the hell are you Bin?_


	2. TENDER HEART

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin's POV

**_Tears fall when I understand your pain_ **

 

**_I call your name when I get smaller in this world_ **

 

**_All the times you stood by my side without a word_ **

**_Finally they touch a part of my heart_**  
-

 

-

 

-

Hanbin downed his second shot of the night and got a loud whoop from the girl in his friends group. 

After the fiftieth or so text from Bobby he stopped looking at his phone. 

Not because he was trying to punish Bobby but his heart just wasn't in it. What happened the previous night had come out of nowhere and Bin felt heavy with guilt even when he hadn't done anything to deserve that kind of outburst from the one person who should have trusted him. 

Maybe because he felt responsible, and that was the worst part. Feeling like he must have some role in his own boyfriend's lack of trust. 

And he missed the stupid fuck. Missed him so much all he wanted was to go home and hug him and make out with him, just feel something other than miserable. 

But Bobby hadn't even apologized, not really. Sure, he sent fifty random texts asking of Bin's whereabouts but said not a single word to say sorry. 

It's not as if Bin didn't understand Bobby at all. He wasn't a veteran to feelings of the jealous nature and he wasn't new to insecurities either. But for some reason the way Bobby got mad and started screaming abuses at him Bin was just deeply hurt. 

Ever since he was young he had been bullied for a lot of things but the worst kind was when his own mother got drunk and smacked him around and called him a word he didn't even understand as a kid. **Whore.**

When he grew up he found out what that word meant. 

When he was in college he found out on his mother's deathbed why she said it to him. She didn't have to say anything herself. His own step father's gaze and the way he was ogling Bin told him everything. 

After that Bin stayed the hell away from his step father. 

When Bobby said those horrible things, he did knowing Hanbin's past and that was the thing that hurt the most. 

_The least he could have done was apologize!_

That's why he called his other group of friends. Bobby didn't know them well and he wouldn't know where they hung out or any of their phone numbers. As of now Bin couldn't be tracked down. 

At least for some time. Until he felt less anger. Until he stopped feeling so resentful. If they talked now they were more likely to get in another fight. 

When you know someone that well you can also hurt them on a whole other level. 

"I'll go get more drinks," Hanbin stood and his other male friend got up with him. They went to the bar together and bought another round of whiskey. 

On the way back to their table Bin almost bumped into someone, hard enough to knock out some alcohol from the glass in his hand. When he tried to apologize he found himself standing in front of a familiar face. 

"Hyung!" Hanbin was always excited to meet his seniors. He loved them all but Jaejoong and Junsu he was especially close to. "I didn't know you came here." 

Junsu smiled. 

Hanbin found himself feeling a little shy. Junsu hyung was one of the most handsome men he'd ever seen. He had great features and this charm, that came through in pictures sure but that drowned you in person. 

Even after meeting him so often Hanbin felt pretty shy and embarrassed around him. Bobby even teased him once that he must have had a crush on the senior idol. Truth be told Hanbin didn't know himself what his feelings were toward his hyung but there was no point in giving it too much thought because he was with Bobby and he loved Bobby deeply. 

In a way that sometimes scared him.

And just when he was starting to feel comfortable with Bobby this fight happened out of nowhere. 

"I go where I'm needed," Junsu said and even though it was a joke Hanbin didn't laugh he felt way too self conscious. 

Junsu must have realized it too because he just looked at him. "You look… beautiful," the words out of his hyung's mouth were even more unexpected than the fact that Hanbin ran into him here of all places, if he didn't know any better Hanbin would have thought he had followed him here especially since Junsu didn't seem to be with anyone. 

Anyhow, that was dumb. The guy was going out with Jaejoong hyung! What could an immature child like Hanbin possibly give him. Still, what he said just now and the way he said it, didn't seem normal. Or maybe Hanbin was overthinking again. 

When Hanbin's friends started yelling for him and the drinks, Hanbin finally had a valid reason to excuse himself. 

Fully expecting Junsu to do something that would require him staying for a drink with his friends, Hanbin got the nerve at last to speak. "I guess i'll see you around, hyung." 

When Junsu smiled again, Hanbin couldn't help thinking the worst. _Here it comes. He's going to make up an excuse to stay._

"Absolutely, see you later," Junsu said instead and started walking back to his booth. 

Hanbin heaved a sigh of relief. See, idiot, it was all in your head. 

 

-

 

-

 

His throat burned in a weird way the second Hanbin finished the whiskey. At first it was just a slightly uncomfortable feeling but then other things started to happen. 

Hanbin was no stranger to anxiety attacks and that was probably who was happening to him. He figured some cool air would calm him so he left his friends without any explanation and practically sprinted outside. Not that his friends even noticed they were so drunk. But Hanbin could handle his liquor and he never went overboard because even too much alcohol could sometimes trigger an attack. But this felt different somehow. 

By the time Hanbin reached the parking lot outside he was feeling extremely dizzy and his eyelids felt heavy. His heart was still racing though and it wouldn't calm down but his brain seemed to be shutting him down. 

From far away he heard a voice, heavy, familiar. "Are you okay?" 

Hanbin tried to walk but he couldn't take a single step before his legs gave and he would have come crashing to the ground but suddenly someone was there. Hanbin recognized the familiar pine scent of his aftershave. Hanbin realized his hands were on the man's shoulder and the man was practically holding Hanbin up by his own strength because Hanbin's legs still felt like they couldn't hold his weight. 

"Something's… wrong… hyung…" Hanbin barely made out those words. 

"It's probably just a panic attack, you get those a lot," Junsu's smile was back. He was trying to comfort him. But deep down Hanbin knew something was wrong. _Very very wrong._

"Hyung…" 

"It's ok," Junsu's calm voice spoke to him through the fog. "Don't worry," out of nowhere Hanbin felt Junsu kissing his forehead. "You're with me now, Binnie. I'll protect you." 

Instead of calming him down, the words combined with Junsu hyung's actions instilled a strange unknown fear in Hanbin. 

In an instant flash a day trip to the zoo with his step father came back to him and the memory was so vivid it _chilled_ him. 

_**"I know your father left you and your mom," and then his step dad kissed Hanbin's forehead. "You're with me now, child. I'll protect you."** _

It was the last thing Hanbin remembered before he passed out.


	3. LOVE A LITTLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **June's POV**
> 
>  
> 
> With Yunhyeong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  **   
>  _I don't know you guys younger guy dominating is my new thing apparently lmao so enjoy this pure smutty and fluffy scene! Junhoe just is hot to me in every way and this is how I always pictured him._   
> 

Song pushed June hard against the wall and June stared back. 

"Where the fuck were you?" Song wanted to know. 

It hadn't been easy to talk down to his hyung but Song wanted it that way. Even when they used honorifics in front of the others, June could tell the older didn't like it much and truth be told June was just as eager to speak comfortably when no one was around. 

"I'm sorry," June responded. "It's not easy creating the web of lies necessary to keep this relationship a secret." 

"Don't make excuses. I got here on time, didn't I?" 

"You know what, you look beautiful when you're angry, Song." 

"Aren't you being way too corny these days?" 

"What are you talking about," June retorted. "I'm always corny, that's kind of my whole thing. Are you just finding that out now?" 

"Shut up." 

"Come on! Stop being mad. We've already wasted so much time." 

"Yes, and whose fault was that?" 

"Just let it go already--" June was about to say more when Song's lips were on his shutting him up. "You talk too much." "Again, that's kind of my whole thing--" "I've been waiting," Song was saying. "I don't like to wait." "You'll do whatever the fuck I tell you to do," June said a little harsh knowing Song wouldn't be able to resist him now. "Stop being such a brat and kiss me. Not one more complaint out of your mouth, I don't want to hear it." Song looked a little aggravated. Something must have happened. Yunhyeong was terrible at telling people what was really going on but June had found a way around it. Sometimes, if you helped June forget his misery, gave him time to process, he would open up to you eventually. June decided that's what he was going to do. "What the fuck are you doing just standing there?" June kept up his act. Yunhyeong forgot everything and came over to kiss June. Suddenly, June felt like he was home. 

There was something addictive about the way Song kissed him, the way he looked at June, it was nostalgic but also something he'd never experienced before. 

June didn't waste a single second and took control. He took off his suit jacket and tossed it on the floor of the hotel room not caring where it landed and started kissing Song, all the while cupping Song's face. 

Song kissed him back with the same passion and they both started undressing. "I missed you," Song confessed. 

June grabbed Song again and gazed in his eyes. "I missed you too. All I could think about all day was at some point I would be here with you and that was the only thing keeping me sane." 

Saying that June kissed Song again. Once again relinquishing control to the younger and June knew exactly what to do. 

He undressed completely and went to the bed and sat down on it. 

On the bed was June, naked. His cock was hard and rested against his stomach. He could tell Song was just as excited. 

“Get over here,” June's voice was demanding. "But first take off your clothes." 

Song hesitated for a second before realizing that it was pointless to resist now.  
In his eyes was the same hunger June always saw. 

“It’s been a long day. Why don’t you get down there and help me feel better?” June kept coaxing him. 

June stared into Song's eyes, daring him to say no. He scooted towards the edge of the bed and put his feet on the floor. Song took off the jeans and shirt he was wearing along with the underwear and tossed his clothes aside before walking over and kneeling between June's legs. He gently held June's cock and gently started stroking. 

“Get to it.” June said impatiently. 

Song leaned forward and June's took in his musky scent. It only turned him on more. June loved the power he had over Song. But when Song put his mouth on June's dick June felt the pleasure hit hard. 

“That’s a good little bitch. Now suck me off.”

Song did as he was told.

 

Song was getting better at it than he ever was before it blew June's mind. After a few minutes June grabbed a handful of Song's hair in one hand

“Ok, that’s enough,” June said as he pulled Song's head away.

“Get up on the bed and lay on your stomach.”

Song hesitated. 

“Did you not hear me? Get the fuck up on the bed.”

Song groaned and got up. June scooted over and Song got on the bed and lay down on his stomach. June ran his hand all over Song's back, appreciating the soft feel of his skin and realizing he was starting to memorize so much of it by now. When June's fingers went lower and over Song's ass he felt Song shiver under the touch. When June's fingers started going deeper, and June made sure he was being gentle he felt Song shudder. 

“Oh Fuck,” Song moaned. 

June started going deeper and Song's muscles seemed to relax on their own as June continued with gentle motions. 

This went on until June knew he couldn't hold off any longer. 

"Stay here, i'll be right back," June said, getting up to get the condoms and lube from the bathroom. 

 

On the way, he wondered what the hell he was doing. 

He'd been with men before, and women, he'd always been bi, but not once did he feel this emotional about fucking anyone. 

 

And Song was a group mate! If things got awkward later what happens then? Song wasn't exactly the most understanding guy but June loved him the way he was, a little entitled and a little bit insane. Somehow, June loved brats. And that's exactly what Song was but he country also be kind and loyal. In short, everything that made June happy. 

When June went back Song was on the bed looking at him and his nakedness made him a real vision to look at. 

June went over and they kissed for a long time, and then Song helped June with the condom and lay down on his back. 

 

June made sure he used a lot of lube and slowly penetrated Song, still looking into his eyes until Song gasped from the initial pain and June started to push slower. Holy fuck! Song gasped louder this time and June stopped moving giving Song time to adjust. 

“You ok?” June suddenly felt concerned. It hadn't been long since they started doing this and this was literally Song's third time. June was more experienced because he was more confident. 

“I will be.”

When Song had recovered June started to gently push again. Soon June got in a rocking motion. He would pull out a little and then push in a little farther each time. With each inward thrust he could feel his cock being more and more in heaven. 

"You're so fucking tight," June groaned. They had both started sweating despite the air conditioning. 

"Fuck, June!" 

They got in their usual rhythm at last and the feeling was just too damn good. Song even started jerking himself off to June's thrusts. 

“Fuck! I'm gonna cum!” Song moaned as he wrapped his legs around June, pulling him in harder with each thrust. 

The look of pleasure that crossed Song's face with each thrust was so hot as was the sweat on his forehead.

“Fuck!” 

After that June just started pounding Song. Moving in and out of him, hitting his prostate with each thrust. Song was also hard as rock and leaking precum. Sweat from June was dripping onto Song each time he slammed into him turning them on even more.

June's thrusting was getting even more powerful and faster as he continued to fuck Song. Inside June could feel his own orgasm approaching. Song's breathing was getting shallower in between grunts and so was June's.

“I’m getting close Song!”

“Me too. Cum inside me. I want you, June.”

Song's body went rigid as he went into orgasm and Song's cum went flying out of his cock onto both their bellies. 

With that June thrust into Song hard several more times before moaning and thrusting into him all the way and holding his cock as deep inside him as he could get.

“Oh God yes!”

It felt like June was cuming forever inside Song. June rode his orgasm to its completion. When he was done he collapsed on top of Song, his cock and cum between them while he was still inside Song. 

June looked into Song's eyes.

“Holy shit!” was all Song could manage.

“You’re telling me.”

June leaned in and kissed Song. Song pulled him down and kissed him back. They locked eyes.

“I love you," June found himself blurting out. 

It made Song smirk. "You do?" 

"Don't be a bitch, Song!" 

“I love you too." 

 

June started kissing Song fervently again. He broke off when he felt his dick jump. "Well, guess I'm ready for round two."

Song smiled but this time it felt different. 

It occurred to June maybe Song was finally ready to talk about the thing that had clearly been on his mind. So, he got off and disposed off the condoms and came back with a box of tissues for clean up. Afterward they both lay down next to each other but Song remained quiet.

"Song just tell me, please." 

"What?" 

"Whatever it is thats making you so distracted." 

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was being rude." 

"It's ok. I just want to know." 

After a few seconds of more silence Song finally spoke. "June, if you're going to cheat on me I'd prefer if you break off with me first. No matter how much youre tempted don't lie to me. Can you promise me that?"

Now June was even more concerned. "What's going on, Song? Do you want to be with someone else?" 

"No! Of course not!" 

"Then what?"

It was clearly taking a lot of effort for Song to say what was on his mind. But in the end he did. 

And what he said just shocked June more than it must have shocked Song.

"On my way to the hotel," Song began. "I stopped by a bar to pick up some food I really love their drink snacks. And well, I was getting in my car when I heard something. It was the two guys in the same parking lot where I was parked. At first I couldn't see their faces and I couldn't hear what they were saying. But then I recognized Hanbin." 

"So?" 

"So, I was about to go over when I noticed the other guy was Junsu hyung. Its no big deal right? But then... I saw them being all... you know... lovey dove... and close and then Junsu hyung kissed Hanbin's forehead and I heard him say something like you're with me now I'll protect you and instead of saying no Hanbin just stood there! Hugging him like that! Fuck. I wanted to do a lot but then I figured maybe its better if we discussed it first."

"Hanbin really said nothing?" June was the most surprised to hear that. "That's not like him though. Cheating. He would never do that to Bobby hyung. No fucking way. There has to be an explanation." 

"Yes. Maybe he was walking and fell into Junsu hyung."

"I know you're being sarcastic but cmon. Give him the benefit of doubt. You know him. He's not the cheating type." 

"People change, June." 

Was Song right? 

Do people change that much? In one night? 

If Song had said that about anyone else he would have believed it. But Hanbin? Just last night he was telling June how happy he finally was because the Bobby hyung and when June had hinted he was in a relationship Hanbin had sat him down and said again and again to not act like other celebrities these days and not to let this idol status make you selfish in your relationships.

Was that nothing but an elaborate lie? 

June couldn't wrap his head around it. 

Because if the person on whose morality June had defined his own morals turned out to be a fake, then that made June a fake.

"Are you okay?" Song asked. 

"I will be," June lied.


	4. PAIN & HEART

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin's POV
> 
> Last Chapter

**_You’ll come to your senses when I’m not there  
When I came to, you weren’t by my side _**

-

 

-

 

-

Hanbin woke up in the dim lighting of a bedroom that was unfamiliar to him. He was thirsty and still a bit dizzy and his head felt like it had hit a ton of bricks. When he started to recognize his surroundings at last he saw someone's shadow a little further away he couldn't make out the man's face. But when he tried to get up his body refused to move. 

"Our Hanbin is finally awake," he heard the man's voice and was relieved to see it was Junsu and not some random stranger. 

"H...hyung…" he tried to speak but couldn't get his voice to come out right and he was slurring his words. 

"You must be wondering what you're doing here," Junsu said. "And please don't tire yourself trying to move too much. You're still under the effects of the roofies I fed you. Pretty easy to bribe your friend. I didn't even need to be around she did it all by herself." 

Hanbin couldn't believe what he was hearing. He tried to move and again, nothing. His body just lay there like that, pretty much paralyzed. 

"Hyung…" 

Hanbin watched helpless as the older man finished the drink in his hand and one hand still in his pants pocket, walked over to the bed where Hanbin was still just laying there.

Junsu took one long look at the helpless creature in front of him and grinned. "I've been waiting for so long for this to happen it almost seems like a dream," Junsu said, loosening his sleeves his eyes still focused on Hanbin's face.

And then Junsu was on the bed, straddling Hanbin and talking to him with a strange ease. "You're even more beautiful like this," Junsu ran his hand all over Hanbin's face, through his hair, pushing the sweaty strands out of his eyes. "I keep wanting you more the more I look at you, isn't that amazing?"

Saying that, Junsu ran the same hand along Hanbin's neck all the way down to the front of his shirt and Junsu ripped it open, revealing his bare chest. 

When Junsu bent down to nuzzle Hanbin's neck Hanbin wanted to slit his throat. But then Junsu started kissing him all over his exposed skin, over the neck and the chest until Hanbin had tears in his eyes. 

"Please…" he begged. 

Junsu stopped and looked in Hanbin's eyes. He started to kiss him and this time Hanbin recoiled from his touch. 

For a second as Junsu stared at him Hanbin couldn't understand what Junsu was thinking. And then, out of nowhere Junsu slapped Hanbin hard enough for Hanbin's neck to snap to one side. Hanbin tasted blood in his mouth and the skin on his face stung. 

Junsu was furious now. "I've been trying to be gentle with you," he said. "I thought you were smart enough to understand the situation and work with me instead of against me. But clearly you lack the brain cells for something so delicate and I have no choice." 

With that Junsu got off Hanbin and flipped Hanbin over. It was the first time Hanbin realized how strong Junsu was and Hanbin could feel Junsu's weight bearing down on his weak body and pushing him into the soft mattress. 

"Hyung!!!" Hanbin screamed even louder this time.

Junsu's mouth was right next to Hanbin's ear when he spoke next. "Do you know what I like to do to stubborn little boys? I like to break them."

Hanbin felt Junsu's hand reaching under the back of his shirt. "Your skin is so soft…" 

"Hyung… please!" His words were coming out more lucid and clear now and he could actually use his vocal cords. 

"No wonder Bobby keeps you all to himself," Junsu said. "Selfish bastard." 

Junsu was still moving a hand all over Hanbin's back and it made Hanbin hate his own self. The guilt he had felt with Bobby before or the guilt he always felt no matter how bad a situation someone put him in a part of Hanbin always blamed himself. **Whore.** "Stop please, hyung, I'm begging you!"

"You're inexperienced," Junsu said ignoring his pleas. "You must think what Bobby manages to do is what you deserve. But I know boys like him. Too full of themselves to actually be good in bed. You need someone like me, kiddo. Someone who knows things about you that even you don't know. And anyway how many times have you guys done it, I'm curious." 

Hanbin couldn't stop crying. 

"I asked you how many times, Hanbin?" 

Hanbin replied because of the silent threat in Junsu's voice. "We haven't… actually…"

Junsu started to laugh. "This is just adorable, our Binnie has been playing hard to get. What a fucking surprise!" 

Hanbin didn't say a word in protest. "I'm… sorry… hyung… " 

"You're apologizing to me? Well, you were pretty rude to me so okay. You should be saying sorry. But you know what I'm about to do to you, trust me we'll be more than even."

This made Hanbin struggle to move and even though he could sense the paralysis leaving his body little by little Junsu would still have him trapped because Hanbin would be too weak to do anything. 

"Stop trying," Junsu said. "You're helpless and I'm not. Sooner you accept this the better." 

Saying that Junsu moved and Hanbin heard the tell tale sound of a belt buckle unbuckling and when Hanbin tried to move this time he felt Junsu's hands on the waistband of his jeans and Hanbin started really freaking out and he was crying again. 

"Hyung! No! Please! I'll do anything! Please!" 

 

\- 

\- 

 

\- 

 

\--

 

The pain had long ago surpassed anything Hanbin could fathom, anything he could describe. At first he screamed and screamed but then came a point where he was past everything. 

Junsu's weight was unbearable too now. 

But it wouldn't end. 

The nightmare, it was just so long. Endless. Like it would never stop. And neither would the pain. 

"You're bleeding so damn much," he heard Junsu complain. 

Maybe now he'll finally stop. 

False alarm. 

 

 

-

 

Hanbin felt Junsu getting off him and the bed at last. 

"Feel free to put your pants back on," Junsu joked. "We're done here." 

Junsu lit up a cigarette and let out a huge puff of vapid smoke. His phone rang and he picked it up. "Hello?" 

Hanbin pulled up his jeans, even though it was sticky with cum and blood. He sat up on the bed unsure what he was supposed to do now. 

Even though he felt filthy, both inside and out, he couldn't bring himself to use the bathroom. 

"Yes he's here with me," Junsu was saying over the phone. "He was was me all night. Feel free to come pick him up." 

Hanbin stayed frozen in his place. 

"Your boyfriend's on the way," Junsu explained. "Jaejoong must have told him where I was staying. He was already in the lobby when he called so that means he's on his way up now." 

Bobby was here. That used to be a good thing. Was it still? A good thing? He will take one look and he will know. Hanbin was bleeding and covered in someone cum. That was not something you hid from people. 

Junsu stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray and came to sit on the bed. "I have to say just going around raping randos is no fun," he began. "I _chose_ you. For a very important reason. You want to know why you were chosen, Bin? I'll tell you. It's because you're so innocent! And there's no greater feeling than ruining someone like that. To watch someone die inside who used to be so alive."

'And as far as that guy Bobby is concerned, You're damaged goods now. He won't be able to love you even if he wanted to." 

'And no I'm not talking about the wounds I just left on your body. Those will heal. It's the wound I left inside of you, Binnie," he tapped Hanbin's chest with his finger, "it's this wound that will never heal. Starting today it will only get worse. That's what destruction is. You could be with a hundred men after today but in there, you're stuck with me." 

Junsu touched his cheek. "Don't worry. You're beautiful. So you'll still get to sleep around. But even a guy like Bobby can't replace me. And one day, he's going to get sick of it kiddo. And he'll find someone who's not ruined like you because one day he'll realize the dead can't be resurrected." 

"Get away from him," the sound of a third voice in the room startled Hanbin. 

Junsu just smiled and stood. By then Hanbin could see both Bobby and Song standing there. And then June also joined them. Maybe if they'd by here a little sooner  
… maybe just maybe… 

Bobby came rushing toward him and Hanbin couldn't even look him in the eye. 

"Binnie, let's go to the hospital, okay?" 

Hanbin grabbed Bobby's shirt sleeve. "Take me home," he pleaded even though his voice was barely legible. "Please."

Bobby was clearly concerned and looked like he wasn't ready to take any risk but eventually Hanbin's sorry state must have got him to change his mind. 

Bobby hugged Hanbin so hard, Hanbin could feel him shaking. He was clearly messed up like he was about to cry. But Hanbin couldn't even cry. Couldn't feel a thing. 

"I'm sorry…" Bobby kept saying over and over still clutching Hanbin. "I should have been here sooner. I should have…" 

"Hyung, the cops are on their way," he heard June say. "Let's go. I'll drive you both home." 

Bobby took off his long coat and draped it over Hanbin's shoulders. He helped Hanbin up and they managed a few steps toward the door but the pain was so bad Hanbin almost fainted. But somehow he kept going. He needed to be far away from this place and from _**him**_. 

On the way to the door he saw Song had been carrying a taser. Junsu looked back at Hanbin but there was no remorse on his face. None at all. He just gave Hanbin a smug look. Hanbin wished he could feel something inside but it was just cold and dark everywhere. Bobby helped him through the door and Hanbin turned his back on Junsu at last.

 ** _But even a guy like Bobby can't replace me. And one day, he's going to get sick of it kiddo. And he'll find someone who's not ruined like you because one day he'll realize the dead can't be resurrected._**

**_You could be with a hundred men after today but in there, you're stuck with me._ **

\- 

 

\- 

 

**_I’ll be the bad guy_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was it. The END. I hope you don't hate me too much for putting our poor Binnie through that. And again, thanks for reading! XD


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